Valentine's Day Post

Valentine's Day is over yet i still wonder why romantic love is associated with the story of Valentine . . . 

others are even taking extra mile just to look great and gorgeous. . . does it really matter? so what if you don't have a date? a guy or a girl for that matter.

Valentine's Day come and go.  so, what's the fuss?

mmmmm, am not sure with the real feeling. maybe because i dont know how it is like being ignored by the apple of one's eye. er perhaps am also trying to deny.

but what am sure is . . . i've never been a hopeless romantic. roses? chocolates? cards? notes? i had them all from different levels and stages of my life.

weekend trips abroad? a house? be famous? a brand new car? there's more actually . . . shhhh! someone had even asked me to keep his number and promised to show the world

i don't stand like a stunning ms universe but i dont understand why i got all of the above!

if others  exert a lot of effort just to catch man's attention, i dont have to. . . despite my age, others do still make a mistake. but u know what? tis not easy being attractive. believe me.

it disturbs a lot. . .

sure glad, i have learned to discern and give a second thought before giving in. i could have gone through more places for free, acquired this and that for free and have enjoyed a lot more for free.

but i prefer to have peace and contentment within me. after all, i believe, what really matter most are the things which are totally free . 

if only i have the heart to take advantage, i could have grabbed all the opportunities and woh lavish my self not only with the excitement, comfort and luxuries one could never imagine.

but tis enough that i am flattered and thrilled. . . i still believe that the best and softest pillow to sleep on is a clear conscience.

tis not a self defense nor a consolation for those who until now keep searching for their Valentine... am only sharing base on a true to life experience.

i cant help but thank people who truly care . . . those who constantly pray for me, my church and my heart teacher, Sir VALENTINE who have perfected his mission in me.

this blog is specially dedicated to him.

i may partly have an autobiographical mindset in my thought today but i am not trying to win all the arguments. i may have compared my thought but again tis not a self-defense nor a confession of others sin nor blaming others failing... just a post Valentine random thought i wanna share .

Below are the lessons from "Being Made Whole" that really taught me. the entire book leads to spiritual maturiry and mainly speaks about credibility and integrity.

. . . unless we let someone PERFECT, SINLESS and FLAWLESS take over us; we can never find peace. we can never stand tall and blameless like what the author said.

so, not only this Valentine's month, let us keep checking  if the following mental dirts and dangerous stuff still occupy the largest portion in our hearts. i do. it helps. and swear, it won't bother you to keep searching your Valentine and won't bother you to go through a lot of arduous physical make over. believe me. it's in the motive of your hearts

* autobiographical mindset - preoccupation of one’s own life - the past, present and future; haunted by success and failures and wrapped up with the idea that life itself is viewed only as personal experience

* win always mentality - constantly making sure of victory either in discussion, decision, choice, action or anything else; cannot take others to disregard his/her ideas or point of view 

* i know it all - all knowing 

* comparative/competitive thinking - constantly compares own life situation with somebody else's status, performance, etc 

* defensive mode - busy guarding his/ her own territory; sole aim is to make sure, he/ she is safe; runs away because he/she think others are finding fault in him/her

* assigning motives to others action - here we assign our own motives to somebody else's action (the author's definition that i like most) 

* confessing other's sin - equivalent to gossiping; looking down on others; spotting others differences and regarding one’s self as superior

* blaming others' weaknesses or strenghts for own failings - quick to make excuses for being unable to influence change in a situation and instead blame it on strenghts or weakness of others 

* victim mentality - endless self-pity 

* unwillingness to submit to authority - when things do not happen as expected, permeates resentment, harbors ill will and ends up in an open defiance of authority 

*poor listener - seems to be listening but immersed to own thoughts

*poor team worker - preference to work on solely and wanting to prove that "i can do better than the team" 

*fear of rejection and fear of criticism - cannot accept negative feedback
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that hearty link between mother and son

with the shocking news that captured  our attention in the country today, it is but normal to read and hear various comments from mere spectators and those directly involved.

mine is not more on the probable cause nor  motive of the incident but the saddest thing that only a son and a mother can understand... so, tragic but i hope that will never happen to my dear one. God forbid!

let my post then be a once upon a time endearing moments with my little one.

After our bedtime prayer that mundane eve of May 9, 2009, my little boy asked, “Why is your body always hot, ma?”

 “You mean, warm?”  “Yes," he said. "I love it when you hug me.” "Love it when i hug you, too. "

 “. . .yeah. like the hens, the ducks and the geese whose youngs are hatched because of their henny penny hug. maybe, the're really hot!"

 “Warm, honey,” I said. “Alright, alright. warm whatever it is.”  he said again and again.

 while busy packing up his things, he came again and asked,"Will you miss me if i'll be off for the kid's camp?"  "Of course!" i said.

 He then gave me some woodpecker smacks like he will be missing me a lot. He kissed and kissed like it was his last; on my cheeks, eyes, nose all over my face.

 That led me to ask what kind of girl he wanna have  one day and he said, “I will have someone who will love me as I am; just someone who will love me as I am. . .” 

 “Not exactly like me?”  “No, because there’s only one like you. And you are just for my dad.”

 When ask if he will miss me in case i'll be off for a week or two. He didn't say yes or no. he paused for a moment then ask what if his dad and i are no longer around. "what would life be like?" 

with my warmest hug i said "God is not selfish enough to take us away just that. One day soon,  you will have your little ones, too. upon settling down, you will be on your own; so, learn to be independent.”

 He paused again then asked, “What if, nobody will like me?” 

 “That’s impossible. there's always that special someone for every one and all of us will go through the same cycle of life. To be born, to belong, be a blessing and leave a legacy – like the Lion King.”

“. . . you mean, I must have my own family, too?”  “Of course. But …pray for your future partner.”

“But Simba and his friends didn’t pray for his partner.”

“Yes, he didn’t. You think, lions, pigs and meerkat pray? But you see? Simba had a good heart. That’s why, he got his dream partner” I explained

. “now I know what I want someday.”   “A lioness, merkaat or a piggy?”

“No. I wanna have someone like you. Please keep our secret, okey?”  I just said yes but i can’t help it.

For sure, other moms who will hear the same from their son would be proud to tell the same story again and again...
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Life and Death

. . . the last time he touched my hair for my monthly hot oil,  i have already felt something. . . i dont know. i was not really sure. but my extra sensory perception had all the answers when last early morn of December 5, Grace called me up and said, "Ma'am, si Tata . . !" 

from her voice, i can sense something morbid happened. . . and the saddest revelation was . . . Tata was crashed on a deadly vehicular mishap after the Golden Valley that fateful night of December 4. 

the moment, Grace told me that, i know it was real. but i never thought that soon. he stayed with us for nearly two years. and in those years, i have not received any report against him being one of the hairdressers except that he seldom fix  and comb his hair ... 

... i never heard him complained nor murmur against our rules. i find him to be honest, hard working, law abiding, always ready with his accomodating gestures . . 

i knew he had never been into drugs, never been into wild parties with hard wines. . . he is the silent type, a homebody whose simple joy is to accomplish his daily task with all integrity and honesty. 

i have already felt it since the day we met. that is why no matter how others tell me to release him because he is a Muslim, i cannot convince myself just because we differ in faith and religion...

besides am not the kind who always believe what others say. i am keen in discernment. i always think about the motives. thank God for the wisdom.

what melted my heart was when his friends, staying with him told me how he saved his hard earned money just to bring pancit daily, of how he saved enough for putting up his dream house - a 4m x 5m m nipa hut with cemented floor.

i saw the real condition, i saw how hard he tried... no wonder why whenever i tell him to stay a little while everytime i drop by and check them after office hour, he is always in a hurry to go home. 

twas all not because of anything else but because of his precious belonging. what made it more precious were the 3 young ones depending on him. he got no family. he had been orphaned but he got the heart to rear 3 more under his care.

i cannot imagine how this single, 24 year old lad made it... but the confessions by his angels revealed the kind of person he is... my only regret is, i have not seen him within that week before it happened. and i have not prayed with them the way we used to before salon's closing . . 
i only got a sigh when Grace said, "don't worry, Ma'am, we have fixed his hair at least one week before the accident . . . his wish to have a beautiful hair was granted" 

i've known him to be one of a kind. but i discovered  more when he left.. . may his soul rest totally in peace and all those who were already departed.

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Legacy of Love

She's got the style. . .  the spirit and the brain! she means when she speaks, she does thing with courage . . she travels a lot. oftentimes, she gets what she wants.

More than that, for the last 15 years, i've known her to be the queen of fashion and all sorts of fads and gigs yuppies love...

She loves and collects a variety of branded items from bags, shoes, cosmetics, jewelries, clothes, jeans, and every fancy thing a woman has in her closet... 

Actually, i am always looking forward to her garage sale where i could get the chance to avail of her precious items . . . i love her stuff. Most of her shoes perfectly fits my size…

Startled by her glamorous composure, one day, i just realized that behind this whimsical feature is a person of noble heart... as she turned  48th this year, the birthday bash we used to hope for with party poppers, lavish meals and fun of sky is the limit was thrown to the ladies in jail... in jail? yes, in jail!

Sounds unusual but yes, it was held with those who had been in jail for several years... for what reason? i dunno. what am sure of, i was there to dine and document the entire event.
When it was her turn to deliver her piece, some of the inmates were teary-eyed. t'was silly dramatic. i tried not to be carried away. after all, i have my own drama in life.

Maybe,  they realized they still have the value. maybe, they just remembered their daughters or their moms or maybe they were sorry for their status or maybe they now have regrets for their committed crimes or maybe they really know nothing about the crime

Can't help saying what's in my mind. i am not just sure what's in them ... but for me, only one thing is certain . . .  Doc Dami came to conquer their hearts.

. . . we may have walked separate roads in our lives but once we've reached at a point when we meet someone who could change our perception about people, events, places and things, we will come to realize, this borrowed life turns remarkable once shared with less privileged individuals

Not all of us need to wait and become like that and this to share our blessings with others but we can settle our minds with the idea that if we cannot do great things, we can do small ones in great ways...

It's like saying, not everybody can be a sun nor a moon nor a star in twilight but anybody can be an oil lamp which the big sun cannot share at  night. 

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why mystic 5?

honestly, am not into fashion. . . i can go with or without make up. a sunblock, a pencil on my browse and a matte lipstick is always enough.

the history of coming it up entails another page in my blog. that is the mystery i'd love to unravel.

Five refers to the fingers of every hand that transform faces, hairs and feelings of every individual who come in here. . . teens, 20's, 30' 40's or 50 something are most welcome to try.

oftentimes, i feel the transformation not by their hands but how their lives and lives of others coming here have touched my heart!

so, goes my inspiration for blogging. thanks to nanardx (author of South Cotabato Tambayan) for the challenge.
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